Matt and I don’t fight that often. For that, I’m grateful. (That’s not to say that we don’t get on each other’s nerves sometimes!)

During our engagement, we had one big fight that—literally—got me up from the couch, ready to pack my bags, and get back on the dating market. I figured that if rocky times were already here, then there were rockier times ahead — and that this rockiness had undone all the goodness.

I didn’t get too far with my bag-packing when Matt told me his idea of a marriage, which was not a let’s-vow-to-make-each-other-happy-forever-and-ever, but rather an honest reflection of the vows we had planned to take: for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer.

Why was I ready to cut and run at the first sign of ‘worse’?

Matt said he didn’t want to marry me because I could make him happy all the time (phew!), but because he wanted to be with me through whatever life threw at him. Whether it was good or bad, difficult or easy, he wanted me there. Quite simply (but maybe not easily): he wanted to share a life with me.

That, I can do.

That’s how it helps—for me—to think about God.

When current events bring news of disease, disaster, or turmoil, we wonder why God didn’t make it right, why God didn’t keep it from happening. “Why, God? Why would you do this?!” If you’re like me, the news can leave you wondering if there’s even a God. Because what loving God would sit idly while her innocent children perish?

Maybe that’s not how God works. Maybe, like a strong marriage, you can’t only expect God to be there when things are going well, when things are going as you’d like.

I mean, make no mistake, God will be there for those great times. But it’s in those dark times, those lonely times, those times that makes you want to curl up and disappear, that God is also with us. Not to make it better, not to make it easier. Just to be there—with us—while we make our way through this life.